Snorty Horse

Any of you see Ryan Bingham on Jay Leno last Friday? I got to watch it at a G.D.I. house party in Columbia, Mo. That was another blast from the past. They had a whole room dedicated to beer pong, along with a makeshift bar, makeshift stage, even a makeshift bathroom. Everything was done half assed and it was obviously one of the coolest bachelor pads I've been to in a long time.
This weeks topic may be a sensitive one for some of you. It's kind of like shaving your nuts; No one talks about it but everyone should probably do it. Being the rather out spoken person that I am, I figured it would be O.K. to tackle this subject. Have any of you guys out there ever taken a leak, feel like your done, zip up your pants and then some pee magically squirts out? If you have ever been caught walking around with a quarter sized wet spot on your britches, then you feel my pain. I can't explain it...It's almost like your in an argument with your penis. You walk up to the urinal, toilet, tree, whatever and innocently take a piss on or in whatever it is your aiming at. Thinking you may be towards the end of the urination session, you begin to shake off any access urine that may be left up there. It never seems to matter how much you shake, but after you zip up the old pants, (be careful if there fancy designer jeans; small zipper) it's almost like the little guy just crawls back in his little den and relaxes to the point of losing bodily control. That's usually when I begin cussin'. People say it gets worse as you get older...lose of pressure if you will. And no, it's not the Clap.
Wearing boxers or under wear may actually catch some of the access urine and prevent the quarter sized pee spot from appearing. The only problem is that you will smell like a sweaty ball sack. I got the answer. BABY POWDER! Not only does it prevent a chafed ass, but it will absorb any access and keep you smelling nice. That explains the big poof ball when ever I sit down. You can get that stuff by the case at Sam's in case you're interested.

We will be closed this Wednesday.

THU. APR. 17th: CODY WALKER and the "Not So Special Drink Special" and whoever else shows up including our local roaster Trulane!!! You may be asking, "Didn't we have Cody's going away party awhile back?" The answer is yes, however, Cody got in a little trouble awhile back and has to take care of some business this week. It just worked out he could play this Thursday. First time we had $1 beers in awhile also. This stuff is always a good time. $3.

FRI. APR. 18th: The RANDY ROGERS BAND with COLD TRAIL!!! This will be a big one folks. Already sold plenty of tix online and we still have a few days to go. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but Randy Rogers Band is every where. I was eating lunch at Cracker Barrel the other day and he was playing over their PA. He was also featured on "The Road House" last Sunday on 100.5. Thanks Brian. Got Cold Trail startin' us off and their a damn big draw themselves and Randy Rogers Band is their favorite group. This will be a good night guys.

SAT. APR. 19th: RED DIRT UNDERGROUND!!! This will also be the celebration of Bates and Amy getting' hitched. Red Dirt Underground plays a bunch of the old red dirt songs we've been listening to for year's. Always good to have Brian and the boys in the bar and with Bates and Amy's party, it'll be good. $5

First week of May is going to be huge:
April 30th: STARK RAVING CALM CD release party!
May 1st: BIG SMITH! This will be a non smoking show.
May 2nd: COLD TRAIL CD release party!
May 3rd: BEN MILLER BAND CD release party with a surprise for you guys!
MAY 5th: JASON BOLAND and STONEY LARUE acoustic!!! Buy tix online for this one!

Thanks,

Steve Greene
417.833.6700
steve@snortyhorse.com
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Snorty Horse Saloon
"Best Little Texas Roadhouse in Missouri"
3050 N. Kentwood Ave.
Springfield, MO 65803
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Buy Tickets Online at
www.snortyhorse.com