Wednesday, February 21, 2007

How Britney Spears lost hair, mind

How Britney Spears lost hair, mind
Kurt Amend
Opinion Columnist

Britney Spears is insane. There, I said it. It’s something we are going to have to come to terms with. In reality, nothing more needs to be said, but we have to fill this space.

If you have been in a hole for the past few days, here’s a quick recap. Britney shaved her head and made a public appearance at a tattoo parlor to get two separate tattoos.

So what’s so intriguing about a former pop star losing her hair and her mind in one fell swoop? What is it that makes two million people check YouTube for video of a bald Britney?

Crazy celebrities are nothing new. Even before media coverage of such events, we had Nostradamus and Vincent Van Gough. Of course, back in their day, no one was really “crazy” — just really creative.

Since insanity became clinically defined, it really only applied to those who committed a crime and the homeless. Any middle- to upper-class nut job was merely eccentric (see Gary Busey). This is why it’s tough for us to accept that Britney is off-her-rocker bonkers. She does not fit the mold.

Is this really the girl that every guy my age fell in love with at the MTV Music Awards, in spite of the fact that she brutalized the Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction”? Was this love just an illusion fueled by sequins and flesh colored spandex?

Maybe. Still, it’s hard to admit one’s mistakes, and that’s what the new Britney era makes college-aged guys do.

But how were we to know? Only 15 short years ago, she was a seemingly happy and stable member of the Mickey Mouse Club. When she lied about being a virgin, that might have been an early warning sign. At the time, it just seemed like a good business decision.

Of course, everyone noticed that she went through two marriages before she was 24, but this is reasonably normal behavior for the drug and alcohol addled lives of people unencumbered by responsibility or reality. With all of Britney’s other questionable decisions, you could have easily replaced her name with Paris Hilton and no one would have batted an eye. This decision is different.

The decision to sport the same hair style as Paul Shaffer is more than just dubious; it’s crazy. To self-promote this new style choice by intentionally being seen by the media is more than just a cry for attention, it’s a cry for help.

So why do we still care about Britney without actually caring for her? In November 2003, Chuck Klosterman, a pop culture journalist, wrote a piece about Britney in which he concluded that she was culturally significant because she was everything to everyone. He claims that she could teeter the line between virgin and sex kitten with incredible dedication.

Well, those days are over. Britney has fallen off that tightrope into a pit full of crazy. Her cultural iconography is clearly anchored in a sea of bad decision-making, and it’s unlikely Britney plans on raising anchor anytime soon.

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