OCTOBER 15, 2009
The Lyric Holy Trinity: Writing a Breakthrough Lyric by Wayne Cohen
Wayne Cohen is a veteran multi-platinum selling ASCAP hit songwriter, producer,educator, and owner of publishing/production company Stand Up Songs. He also teaches individual and group songwriting tutoring sessions at his NYC Stand Up Studio and via Skype.
Obviously, a hooky melody is what draws people to a song, but an emotionally riveting lyric is what keeps them coming back time after time. In addition to a compelling story (which I’ll talk about later) there is a holy trinity of three elements which – to me – are absolutely paramount; this holy trinity is needed for a lyric to be engaging and interesting enough so people don’t turn you OFF. So after you go back to work on your current song, ask yourself, is your lyric:
1) Universal (Does the story express a universal emotional truth?)
2) Real (Is it a simple, fresh, street expression of that truth?)
3) Urgent (Does the song takes place in a single emotional moment, and does the protagonist own that emotion? Does every line of the lyric come from the same emotional place?)
So, how did you do on the holy trinity checklist? Unfortunately 1 or 2 out of 3 ain’t good enough if you want to have a breakthrough song. But do not despair – you can make 3 out of 3 every time if you follow a few simple steps.
How to express a universal emotional truth
Some examples of universal emotional truths include heartbreak, restlessness, attraction, etc… But it’s all in how you say it. Look at your lyric; is it in the passive or active voice? If it’s passive, take the same song idea and flip it from passive to active. For example, you could say ‘why don’t you come back,’ but I would rather say ‘I want you to come back’ because it’s not passive and blaming. And let’s say you want to express that ‘life is falling apart’ or you’re ‘falling off the edge of a cliff’ and ‘never going to recover from this heartbreak.’ Whatever it is, really go for it and don’t just say ‘I can’t stand this’.
It doesn’t have to be in first person but it’s definitely more dramatic and compelling to say things like that in the first person rather than ‘when are you going to come back,’ ‘why didn’t you come back,’ ‘it could have been so much better if you had blah blah blah…’ There can be a passive part of the song, could be the bridge, however people aren’t generally drawn to songs that are passive. There are so many different forms of entertainment competing for your audience’s attention. Changing from the passive voice to the active voice can make your lyric much more immediate and appealing. A listener will be engaged way more if the protagonist of the song is passionate about what they are expressing as opposed to blaming the other who the protagonist is singing to.
So, ask yourself: Is your song’s emotional story universal? Is the theme of the lyric consistent?
1) Universal (Does the story express a universal emotional truth?)
2) Real (Is it a simple, fresh, street expression of that truth?)
3) Urgent (Does the song takes place in a single emotional moment, and does the protagonist own that emotion? Does every line of the lyric come from the same emotional place?)
So, how did you do on the holy trinity checklist? Unfortunately 1 or 2 out of 3 ain’t good enough if you want to have a breakthrough song. But do not despair – you can make 3 out of 3 every time if you follow a few simple steps.
How to express a universal emotional truth
Some examples of universal emotional truths include heartbreak, restlessness, attraction, etc… But it’s all in how you say it. Look at your lyric; is it in the passive or active voice? If it’s passive, take the same song idea and flip it from passive to active. For example, you could say ‘why don’t you come back,’ but I would rather say ‘I want you to come back’ because it’s not passive and blaming. And let’s say you want to express that ‘life is falling apart’ or you’re ‘falling off the edge of a cliff’ and ‘never going to recover from this heartbreak.’ Whatever it is, really go for it and don’t just say ‘I can’t stand this’.
It doesn’t have to be in first person but it’s definitely more dramatic and compelling to say things like that in the first person rather than ‘when are you going to come back,’ ‘why didn’t you come back,’ ‘it could have been so much better if you had blah blah blah…’ There can be a passive part of the song, could be the bridge, however people aren’t generally drawn to songs that are passive. There are so many different forms of entertainment competing for your audience’s attention. Changing from the passive voice to the active voice can make your lyric much more immediate and appealing. A listener will be engaged way more if the protagonist of the song is passionate about what they are expressing as opposed to blaming the other who the protagonist is singing to.
So, ask yourself: Is your song’s emotional story universal? Is the theme of the lyric consistent?
Keep it Real
This is so important! I like to imagine myself as the character in the song, and I really try to forget about everything else in my life. If somebody’s calling me and inviting me to a gig or whatever I try to ignore all of it and just think, “what is that person in the song going to be thinking about?” Whether it’s ‘wish fulfillment’ or how ‘things feel different now…’ How’s that going to feel? I find it’s a lot easier to come up with the lyric ideas if you are literally that character of your song. Its method acting that I find works, much better than saying to myself, ‘hmm now I have to write about such and such a subject’ which I find NEVER works. You’ll never get there if you think about it. You need to feel about it. The lyric has to sound like someone would actually say it, or it will not connect with people..
You have to live in the soul of the character. Even if I’m in a different moment in my personal life – which is usually the case – I want to complete the song I’m writing from the point of view of the character. Living in the character is of paramount importance, and it’s gotta be 100% believable. It’s gotta be that every line in the lyric says ‘this is who this person is and this is where they are in their life.’ Because when a person hears something on the radio or in the car or an mp3, it’s gotta catch them that way, and you never know where in the song you’re gonna catch them. They may be tuning in to your song in the last line of the pre chorus, they may be turning it on the last line of the chorus, or in the bridge – you never know. Anybody should be able to flick on your song at any point in the song and GET it. So your job is to grab and keep ‘em for the whole ride.
It’s a challenge, because when you’re writing a lyric you don’t want EVERY line to stand out. Obviously, if you have a good idea for a title, you need to set it up and support every lyric – and every lyric idea has different requirements. But there are key points – like the first line of the song, and the chorus – that have to be breakthrough lyrics. However, if you give your audience too much to absorb all the time it can be mental freak-out time. There have to be moments of stand out lyrics and then other supporting lines. For example, the lyric right before the chorus could be a good point to write something simple so that the chorus stands out more. The lyric in that place usually needs to go down easy, to keep the song balanced.
And if it comes naturally, by all means make it ‘street.’ Adele’s song ‘Chasing Pavements’ does this well. But be careful, it’s gotta be real or it will fall flat. It doesn’t have to be ‘street’ to be real, and if it’s not, it better be a really vivid cool expression of your universal emotional truth. If I’m going to sing along with a chorus, I want it to be an emotion I can identify with which is fleshed out by the lyrics of the chorus – even if it’s something simple as my song “Better Off Alive.” It’s not particularly ‘street’ but it is an edgy restless twist on that old phrase ‘better off dead.’ Here’s some of the lyric and a link to the song, sung here wonderfully, by artist la Sara who I recently produced two songs for:
BETTER OFF ALIVE (W. Cohen/M. Harwood)
I WILL NEVER BE AFRAID
THERE’S NOTHING IN THE WAY OF MY GOOD TIMES
TURN IT OFF CAUSE NOW I’M TURNING ON
ALL THE CLOUDS ARE GONE CAN’T BEAT THIS BLUE SKY
JUST LIKE A DESERT THAT TURNS INTO A WATER STREAM
THERE’S SOMETHING IN THEN OUT THAT MAKES IT A BRAND NEW ME
NO POINT IN BLAMING YOU ‘COS SOMETIMES WE MAKE MISTAKES
JUST GOTTA STAND UP AND SAY
I’M BETTER OFF ALIVE
WANNA LEAVE THE DARK BEHIND
OH I’M BETTER OFF ALIVE (BETTER OFF)
THAT’S JUST MY KIND OF PARADISE
LIFE JUST STRUCK ME ON THE NOSE
THAT ARCHETYPAL POSE MAKES ME CRAZY
NUMBED YOU TRIED TO MAKE ME UP
BUT NOW I’M WAKING UP TO THE FEELING
I CAN’T IMAGINE A TIME BEFORE WE SAID GOODBYE
TO ALL THOSE USELESS THINGS THAT CLUTTER UP THE MIND
I GUESS I’D RATHER LIVE THAN BEING SOLD A LIE
I’M NOT BUYING TONIGHT (UH UH) IS THAT A CRIME THAT’S WHY
I’M BETTER OFF ALIVE
GONNA LEAVE THE DARK BEHIND
NO I’M BETTER OFF ALIVE (BETTER OFF)
THAT’S JUST MY KIND OF PARADISE
Sometimes it’s better NOT to be ‘street’ as it can put an expiration date on the song. So my advice is be ‘street’ where appropriate, but no matter what, be bold and be cool in how you express your truth.
Convey Urgency
To help get into that urgent place, sometimes I like to write down the raw elemental concepts of what I want the song to be about before I actually set a lyric. I find that it frees me from having to worry about scansion and rhyme and I can focus on expression, and find it helps me to own the emotion instead of dotting “i’s” and crossing “t’s.” I’d like to tear a page and give props here to Julia Cameron’s breakthrough book “The Artist’s Way” (search ‘morning pages’ on Google and you’ll know what I mean).
Recently one of my students had a lyric about missing someone. They had mentioned ‘I want you to be here for when the sh-t hits the fan’ or something to that effect. My reaction is that’s not an urgent representation of the feeling. If you are having that in your conversation, it’s a ‘secondary’ conversation in which you can afford to be cerebral. But that does not make for an urgent lyric. If you were having an urgent conversation with someone you care about, you would be blurting out your raw feelings, and I don’t think you’d be so cerebral. I’d rather hear something about how you feel about them NOT being there when the sh-t hits the fan. However that subject could be cool to use if the tables were turned and the song was about the protagonist wanting to provide comfort by saying something like ‘I will be here for you when the sh-t hits the fan’ because that has some urgency to it.
Two further examples of effective dramatic urgent lyrics are songs by Evanescence, and the songs of Kurt Cobain. Their songs are so in the moment, focused in that moment, there’s no other emotion around it – you really believe and you can connect with the depth of that emotion. Check it out.
On another tip, and I don’t know how you feel about opera (I tend to have a love hate relationship with opera…) but the great operas tend to have storylines where the characters are so embroiled in their particular personal dramas that you are taken along for the ride, and that’s what a good pop song should do as well. A great song will give listeners the break they need from their own mundane existences. Take Puccini’s ‘La Boheme’, or check out Aretha’s amazing last minute filling in for Pavarotti at the 1998 Grammys singing ‘Nessun Dorma’ from Puccini’s ‘Turandot’ for example. Now I don’t know what the song is about, and I’m sure this has a lot to do with the melody, and with Aretha, but I get goosebumps every single time I watch this. And it wasn’t even in her key! Look at the close ups of Faith Hill with tears in her eyes and Celine Dion shaking her head at the end of the piece..Now that’s drama. But let’s face it, Puccini could not have written that melody without a dramatic story!
People are drawn to songs that take them on a wild ride. To make people want to listen to a song you have to rouse them out of their everyday lives, which is why I’m saying a lyric has to be as urgent as possible. Part of your job as a songwriter is to make sure that the listener is always engaged in a particular emotional space and not skirting around the periphery of the emotion.
THERE’S NOTHING IN THE WAY OF MY GOOD TIMES
TURN IT OFF CAUSE NOW I’M TURNING ON
ALL THE CLOUDS ARE GONE CAN’T BEAT THIS BLUE SKY
JUST LIKE A DESERT THAT TURNS INTO A WATER STREAM
THERE’S SOMETHING IN THEN OUT THAT MAKES IT A BRAND NEW ME
NO POINT IN BLAMING YOU ‘COS SOMETIMES WE MAKE MISTAKES
JUST GOTTA STAND UP AND SAY
I’M BETTER OFF ALIVE
WANNA LEAVE THE DARK BEHIND
OH I’M BETTER OFF ALIVE (BETTER OFF)
THAT’S JUST MY KIND OF PARADISE
LIFE JUST STRUCK ME ON THE NOSE
THAT ARCHETYPAL POSE MAKES ME CRAZY
NUMBED YOU TRIED TO MAKE ME UP
BUT NOW I’M WAKING UP TO THE FEELING
I CAN’T IMAGINE A TIME BEFORE WE SAID GOODBYE
TO ALL THOSE USELESS THINGS THAT CLUTTER UP THE MIND
I GUESS I’D RATHER LIVE THAN BEING SOLD A LIE
I’M NOT BUYING TONIGHT (UH UH) IS THAT A CRIME THAT’S WHY
I’M BETTER OFF ALIVE
GONNA LEAVE THE DARK BEHIND
NO I’M BETTER OFF ALIVE (BETTER OFF)
THAT’S JUST MY KIND OF PARADISE
Sometimes it’s better NOT to be ‘street’ as it can put an expiration date on the song. So my advice is be ‘street’ where appropriate, but no matter what, be bold and be cool in how you express your truth.
Convey Urgency
To help get into that urgent place, sometimes I like to write down the raw elemental concepts of what I want the song to be about before I actually set a lyric. I find that it frees me from having to worry about scansion and rhyme and I can focus on expression, and find it helps me to own the emotion instead of dotting “i’s” and crossing “t’s.” I’d like to tear a page and give props here to Julia Cameron’s breakthrough book “The Artist’s Way” (search ‘morning pages’ on Google and you’ll know what I mean).
Recently one of my students had a lyric about missing someone. They had mentioned ‘I want you to be here for when the sh-t hits the fan’ or something to that effect. My reaction is that’s not an urgent representation of the feeling. If you are having that in your conversation, it’s a ‘secondary’ conversation in which you can afford to be cerebral. But that does not make for an urgent lyric. If you were having an urgent conversation with someone you care about, you would be blurting out your raw feelings, and I don’t think you’d be so cerebral. I’d rather hear something about how you feel about them NOT being there when the sh-t hits the fan. However that subject could be cool to use if the tables were turned and the song was about the protagonist wanting to provide comfort by saying something like ‘I will be here for you when the sh-t hits the fan’ because that has some urgency to it.
Two further examples of effective dramatic urgent lyrics are songs by Evanescence, and the songs of Kurt Cobain. Their songs are so in the moment, focused in that moment, there’s no other emotion around it – you really believe and you can connect with the depth of that emotion. Check it out.
On another tip, and I don’t know how you feel about opera (I tend to have a love hate relationship with opera…) but the great operas tend to have storylines where the characters are so embroiled in their particular personal dramas that you are taken along for the ride, and that’s what a good pop song should do as well. A great song will give listeners the break they need from their own mundane existences. Take Puccini’s ‘La Boheme’, or check out Aretha’s amazing last minute filling in for Pavarotti at the 1998 Grammys singing ‘Nessun Dorma’ from Puccini’s ‘Turandot’ for example. Now I don’t know what the song is about, and I’m sure this has a lot to do with the melody, and with Aretha, but I get goosebumps every single time I watch this. And it wasn’t even in her key! Look at the close ups of Faith Hill with tears in her eyes and Celine Dion shaking her head at the end of the piece..Now that’s drama. But let’s face it, Puccini could not have written that melody without a dramatic story!
People are drawn to songs that take them on a wild ride. To make people want to listen to a song you have to rouse them out of their everyday lives, which is why I’m saying a lyric has to be as urgent as possible. Part of your job as a songwriter is to make sure that the listener is always engaged in a particular emotional space and not skirting around the periphery of the emotion.
So, use the restlessness in your spirit to do what you want to do, and be where you want to be, in your songs and in your life. You have the potential to write great, breakthrough songs.
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